There was some guy on the Today show a couple days ago (maybe it was just yesterday?). Eh, not the point. His family makes a bunch of stuff from goat’s milk (lotions, etc.). Still getting there…..so it’s a family ordeal. Kids and all. The interviewer asked him if the kids ever get bored with it. He laughs. Sarcastically says “No, never”….and says something about teaching his kids the importance of hard work and sticking with something even when it’s not super fun. (ok, my wording…but you get the point).
If you know me, you know I enjoy life. So, I’m having a difficult time putting into words what I want to convey; how I feel about hard-work and intilling the importance of hard-work into my kids. I had kind of a mommy melt down the other day. I was working with Madi on her bike. Let’s just say it was a struggle. It was hard for her. I was getting frustrated. Not frustrated bc it was hard for her, but frustrated that after about 30 secs of not getting it that she wanted to stop trying. One of her training wheels fell off and she didn’t even know it; and did pretty well without it, but when we went to turn around and she realized it was gone that was when the freak out on her part begun. I kept telling her “Trust me sis….and yes learning to ride you’re gonna fall. And that’s ok, that’s how you learn”. Yes. At this pt it was no longer about the bike. The words I was whispering to her. I felt all the ache and fear that was laying and stirring in my mommy heart showing up full force in that very moment. And I was getting beyond frustrated. And fast. I’m not usually so fast to get angry with her. She was done. I was done. In that moment I wanted her to just know that sometimes life is hard. That it takes hard-work. (again so not just about the bike) That although she wants to be able to just start riding her bike and all the fun that it will bring, that it will take time and perserverance on her part.
And I just wanted her to know that. And I know that the anger/frustrtation part in that moment had very little to do with her. She’s five. Riding a bike will come. That my frustration was rooted in knowing that I am no longer part of that “team” that I thought I was once apart of to show her and him that life takes hard work. That life is more about than just “fun-ness”, that life is less than about meeting one’s own needs and more about serving others, more about finding joy and peace in simplicity, and mutuality living in togetherness. When I see those glimpses of her I fear that she’s gotten less of my fight and more of the other “quit when the going gets tough” that tore a family apart. THe truth is they won't always be one and five....where all they see is the fun-ness...they will grow up and have watched the people around them. My job and priority as momma is to model for them character traits I pray they devleop: perseverance, kindness, compassion. Life and parenthood is about helping those 2 sweet babies to become the woman and man that God desires for them; not to fill some whole I have in my life.
I ended up telling her if she was done trying she needed to go inside the house. She reluctantly went. Her nana went inside with her to talk with her. Later that night I went up to her room and apologized for losing my cool. We talked about what “perseverance” means. We also talked about what it means to be “brave”. She can recite the definition of bravery, “doing something even if we’re scared”. Baby girl, that will get you far.
